You've Got Red On You

Entering Waterstones and seeing Simon Pegg's autobiography adorned with a 'Half Price' sticker, I knew I wanted to read it. I have always liked Simon Pegg's comedy, particularly Spaced which offers endless hours of cackling laughter. I never thought my funny fuse would be the same again after watching Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz (luckily it was, and this was confirmed by Russell Brand's Ponderland). The thing that was so likeable about Simon Pegg was that he, and his productions, appeared so unassuming and real, a refreshing feature amongst your usual manicured and pedicured Hollywood blockbusters. Unfortunately, I still couldn't afford the book, but eventually bought it from an extremely discounted (and awesome) book shop in Waterloo. If you, like me, like Simon Pegg but haven't yet read his book, learn from my mistakes and banish all thoughts of his autobiography from your mind. As I read the book, he revealed himself to be; pretentious, self-indulgent, patronising and the most regal of drama queens. Upon reflection, these characteristics seem to be evident in a whole load of comedians, but Simon Pegg was always one of us, a normal, geeky, awkward guy!
In regards to Nick Frost, Simon Pegg describes himself as a father-type figure to Frost and continues to patronise him, taking most of the glory and responsibility for Nick Frost's achievements. His book is interjected with a fantastical story about Pegg and his robotic butler Canterbury. The story is actually entertaining and written very well, however the character Murielle and his autobiographical references to his childhood sweetheart Murielle is quite uncomfortable. Understandably, he doesn't discuss in detail his relationship with his wife, Maureen, and their child, but to delve so deeply into the history of his childhood love, and then document a fantasy about said Murielle, where they repeatedly have sex seems totally inappropriate. I suppose it's all for entertainment, but if I was his wife I might ask Pegg 'What the fuck?!!!'.

'Did I really write that?' Yes, you did *sobs*

Perhaps the worst thing of all is that his opening chapter is all about how he didn't want to write an autobiography at all, almost apologising for doing so. He writes:

'It was never my intention to write an autobiography. The very notion made me uneasy. You see them congesting the book-shop shelves at Christmas. Rows of needy smiles, sad clowns and serious eyes, proclaiming faux-modest life stories, with titles such as This is Me, or Why Me?, or Me, Me, Me. I didn't want to do that, it's not really me.'

But it IS you! That is why you have written an autobiography! You can't punch someone in the knee and then say 'I hate it when people punch other people in the knee, it's just not really like me to do it... I suppose I was encouraged to do it'. Fair enough, write an autobiography, you're a funny guy- it will sell, but please DON'T try and make excuses for it. If you disaprove of celebrity autobiographies so much, just don't write one- it will probably make you happier.

I then watched Paul and his comedic coffin was sealed for me. The thing that made Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz so refreshingly funny were their constant references to British popular culture, and their unpretentious, unassuming simple humour. Going to America and making Paul was, undoubtedly, a smart career move, but all my faith in his comedy has been demolished. I really regret reading his autobiography as I really, really liked him before! I am henceforth personally boycotting all autobiographies of celebrities/comedians/actors I like. I would recommend Simon Pegg's autobiography alongside One Direction's.