Snow White and the Huntsman

Warning: spoiler alert, but not a massive one so you should still read it :-D

Kristen Stewart does a top job

Snow White and the Huntsman is surprisingly good and a little bit epic. If Charlize Theron being so frightening that a little bit of wee comes out is your idea of a worthy film, then Snow White and the Huntsman is for you. I exagerrate, but at times Theron really is terrifying. I think a way in which a beautiful actress (such as Theron) can prove that she is more than just a pretty face is actually to make their character incredibly ugly through their portrayal. Because she is so beautiful it is difficult to imagine any character that Theron plays being grotesque but she plays her character Queen Ravenna very dynamically.
Snow White and the Huntsman, although based on the original German Brother's Grimm fairytale, is actually far from the traditional fairytale archetype. Snow White (Kristen Stewart) is strong and independent, rather than the Disney Snow White who used birds to assist in her pie making. She battles with a sword and, honestly the film isn't glamorous.

Snow White is born a princess with a loving mother and father, who rule the kingdom well and are respected throughout it. Snow White is still a child when her mother dies. Distraught, her father King Magnus (Noah Huntley) is lured into battle against an eerie glass army. Upon defeating the army he comes accross Ravenna (Theron), weds her immediately and is unceremoniously murdered by her on their weddding night (not what most expect). Now Queen Ravenna, obsessed with her magical mirror and using dark magic to remain youthful and beautiful, she locks away Snow White and continues to destroy the kingdom. Years later, Ravenna learns off her twisted mirror that Snow White has come of age and is 'the fairest of them all', instructing Ravenna that Snow White is the key to her eternal preservation and her eternal destruction. To live as a beautiful immortal, all she has to do is casually eat Snow's heart. Snow White takes this new opportunity to escape and is hunted throughout the kingdom, making allies along the way. The film culminates in a battle for the kingdom, typical black vs white. 

Charlize Theron screamed so fiercely that she tore a stomach muscle in one of the scenes. True.

I was particularly sceptical before watching the film after considering Kristen Stewart's most famous role in the Twilight Saga, where she plays a (let's be honest), pathetic teenager desperate for her supernatural loves. Her rather convincing Olde English accent and brand new set of facial expressions did wonders for her creating a new character, breaking away from Bella Swan. There was, however, one moment in the film where Snow White is battling with death and I could only think of the scene in Twilight after Bella Swan has been bitten. This is because of Kristen Stewart's face, she looks exactly the same! Upon a second thought, I felt bad about thinking this- after all, how many different looks can an actress have when dying? Overall, good job Kristen Stewart.

Not your typical Prince Charming, not bad though

One obvious way in which the film broke away from the traditional fairytale is Snow White's romantic interests (Romance spoiler alert). William AKA Prince Charming (Sam Claflin), although fighting to get the girl, doesn't get the girl and doesn't bring her to life with 'love's true kiss'. He is the perfect candidate and the typical, pure, honourable, strong prince charming. However, there is another contender in this rendition of Snow White, the kind of contender who is a widow, still loves his deceased wife, is a drunk, a rogue, actually sets off trying to capture Snow White and, basically, needs a wash. Of course, this is the Huntsman, played by Chris Hemsworth. It is his kiss which brings Snow White back from the death, and he is far from the traditional prince charming portrait of sobriety and virginity.
Overall a great film, this new style of dark fairytales seems to be a trend, with Jack and the Beanstalk coming to cinemas next starring Skins star Nicholas Hoult. I, for one, am quite a fan of creating an alternative option to the classic Disney interpretations of fairytales. I don't know if this is for any intelligent reason other than I want to enjoy fairytales again but am really too old for Disney.

When Rich People Say Rich Things

It is good in life to experience new things, even if they leave you feeling conflicted and a little bit dirty. I know this as yesterday I found myself nodding in agreement with David Cameron. Amidst the surfacing of comedian Jimmy Carr's tax avoidance scheme, Cameron was speaking out against the comedian claiming that his actions, although lawful, were morally wrong

Jimmy Carr has apologised for his 'terrible error of judgement' over the K2 tax scheme

"People work hard, they pay their taxes, they save up to go to one of his shows. They buy the tickets. He is taking the money from those tickets and he, as far as I can see, is putting all of that into some very dodgy tax avoiding schemes."

For a moment I was all for our David giving Jimmy Carr what for, he is morally wrong, and it is particularly rich coming from Jimmy Carr who appeared left wing in his criticism of banker's failure to pay their taxes. As I said, I was blinkered for a moment and then I remembered that Gary Barlow was also under the same scrutiny for tax evasion, however Gary Barlow participated in the Conservative election campaign, so is considered one of their own rather than Jimmy Carr. Regarding Gary Barlow's tax evasion, Cameron stated that he had not had the time to look into Gary Barlow's affairs, which have been an issue for far longer than Jimmy Carr's, in which Cameron appeared thoroughly knowledgeable.

I am not defending Jimmy Carr's actions, far from it, I now regret finding him hilarious. I, however, resent David Cameron jumping on the band wagon, claiming what is and what is not morally wrong, as he increases what the poorer pay in tax and decreases what the rich must pay. Yes Carr has been morally wrong, alongside the large number of MPs who spent tax payer's money on a Sky Sports subscriptions (Sky is a luxury in my book). Jimmy Carr's case has only received so much publicity because he is a celebrity, however there must be thousands more cases of these legal tax avoidance schemes along the lines of K2 and Icebreaker LLP. It would be far more lucritive for governing bodies to investigate these wealthy individuals, making large tax returns rather than fannying about taxing hot pasties. 

I want a trouser press like Chris Huhne!

Just to remind everybody, here are some items claimed by MPs on expenses
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/gallery/2009/may/08/labour-mps-expenses#/?picture=347377541&index=0

A Happy Conclusion

Martha Payne is now free to blog again after Argyl and Bute council have withdrawn their photograph ban on her blog.

Here is an article with more details

Raising Hell with Martha Payne

I hope she continues and hasn't been scared off by the ban.

2012. Inspire a Generation TO BUY!

After a long Easter break, I am back to whinge about this and that. So... the Olympics.

A positive from the Olympics. I like this stamp.

Can you believe that McDonalds sponsors the 2012 Olympics? And Coca Cola? Have you seen how buff olympic athletes are... they definitely do not consume McDonalds and Coca Cola. More obscure, but equally mad, is the fact that BP sponsor the Olympic games... surely athletes run everywhere??? Ok, that is ludicrous- but, amongst the Panasonic, acer, VISA, BMW, Cadbury sponsorships- where is there anything relevant to physical activity which may promote it. Surely the spirit of the Olympics stretches beyond antithetical sponsors, just because they are giants? I'm betting that, if Cadbury's Creme Eggs really did don helmets and ride bicycles in the games, they'd manage about as well as the Michelin baby.

Inspire a generation to get lashed... but not to binge drink. Or smoke. Or buy cheap alcohol. But specifically Heineken is OK during the Olympics, but not Amstel as they didn't cough up.

In all fairness, poor Londoners. Imagine the traffic, the chaos. London is hectic at the best of times. I'm not saying the Olympics are a bad thing, far from it, they've made giant corporations an absolute bomb of money! My fear is that the spirit of the Olympics (fitness, national pride, guilt at sitting on your bum writing a blog rather than going for a jog) is being manipulated and obscured by product placement and strange advertising schemes. Check out this SAMSUNG advert, what the piss has SAMSUNG got to do with the Olympics? What has SAMSUNG got to do with the 100 year old dream? I despair. Whilst watching television we are constantly confronted by these inspiring adverts that get you to thinking 'ooh, inspiring music, inspiring active lifestyle... I wonder what this product is: maybe the ultimate sportsbra, combining both practicality and cosmetic appeal'. Alas, no, it is advertising a mobile phone. I was innocently sat in the cinema, awaiting Snow White and the Huntsman (bit of product placement there) when this Blackberry advert assaulted my eyes. I have a Blackberry. It hasn't worked since February. How, in any way, is my faulty Blackberry helping me be a person 'that does'? It is not! If you want to be active and lead a happy life, a mere phone is not the answer. I feel a new wave of manipulation from advertising, wherein they claim that their product will provide for you the perfect life, although I suppose that is the lifelong motto of advertisements. Nowadays they just chuck some acoustic hipster-licious soundtrack over the top and are done with it.

The Right to Die

Laws are necessary, and if we want to avoid a Lord of the Flies-esque societal meltdown, they need to be enforced. Understandably, killing others is (obviously) a rigid law, totally unmalleable or up for review. In most cases this is wise, however in the case of Tony Nicklinson a bit of common sense wouldn't go amiss in the courtroom. In 2005 Tony Nicklinson suffered a devastating stroke which left him with locked-in syndrome, essentially meaning that his brain is fully functional but he is mostly incapable of using his body. Immediately after the stroke, he was able only to move his eyeballs, but can now communicate through a computer. Since 2007 he was wanted to die, and his decision has not waned.

Tony Nicklinson before the stroke he suffered on a business trip in Athens

"Indeed, I can expect to dribble my way into old age. If I am lucky I will acquire a life-threatening illness such as cancer so that I can refuse treatment and say 'no' to those who would keep me alive against my will.

"By all means protect the vulnerable," he added. "By 'vulnerable' I mean those who cannot make decisions for themselves. Just don't include me. I am not vulnerable. I don't need help or protection from death or those who would help me. If the legal consequences were not so huge – ie life imprisonment – perhaps I could get someone to help me. As things stand, I can't get help."

Computer equipment tracks the movement of his eyeballs to form words and communicate.

And he is right, of course he is right it's his existence. Surely this is the worst case of discrimination against the disabled to ever grace newsrooms? It is not illegal to commit suicide, but because Tony Nicklinson is so disabled that he can't, he isn't allowed to get assistance because of the legal consequences they will face. There has to be an element of re-evaluating the law for this case. The media hype he has aroused means that there should be an individual body. It is surely crueller to force this man to continue suffering than to let him peacefully pass away without the guilt of knowing someone will face life imprisonment on the behalf of killing him.

Laws are not permanent rules and change frequently depending on who is in power and when. And although yes, taking another person's life is morally wrong in almost all instances, in this one, it is not.

Gaming's Sexualisation of... Nevermind

Konami's interpretation of a man's standard physique

Seeing Lara Croft's generous bosom and miniature waist jiggle about as she wrestles with death, it is extremely easy to conclude that female characters in games are heavily sexualised. Indeed they are, Bioshock Infinite's female lead, Elizabeth, has caused uproar for her obvious breasts (so much more shocking than subtle breasts). However, being swept up in the furor of the sexualisation of female characters in games, it is overlooked that male characters are sexualised exactly the same. To argue that young players are influenced by far fetched images of women in games, so they are of males. In the traditional argument, a women is supposed to be pathetic and the man is supposed to muster a giant set of brass balls to conquer the situation. Women shouldn't be expected to be useless cling-ons, just as men shouldn't be expected to be the macho conquerers of all things. In some games, women play the traditional patriarchal damsel in distress, just waiting to be rescued by a short, tubby, brave Italian plumber. However, in some games women give it welly, e.g. Final Fantasy XIII's Lightning, who wipes the floor with all the male characters. And yes, Lightning is wearing a ridiculously short skirt, but check out Snow's attire and physique. Current research shows that the ratio of male:female gamers is 60:40, with far more women playing games than perceived. I am all for feminism, but taking the view that women are portrayed as unreal in comparison to men in games is actually putting down women's position in the gaming industry. This is assuming that male gamers can fancy female characters, but female gamers are incapable of finding male characters attractive, surely not representative of gender equality?

Jean Paul Gautier's sexualised perfume bottles

Everybody is sexualised. Everything is sexualised in the media. We like to see pretty, sexy things, regardless of our gender. We like it when we see Jessica Alba as Nancy in Sin City, we like it when we see huge images of David Beckham in the windows of H&M and we like it when we see the cutest bunny to ever grace the planet. Even perfume bottles are designed to be sexy. True portrayals of people are refreshing in film and drama, but most of the time we like to lose ourselves in unrealistic, and often warped, images of others. In reality, most characters in games would be covered in grotesque amounts of mud, sweat, blood... honestly they'd all be dead. In reality the happenings in games wouldn't be happening because they are fantasy. So yes, women in games are fantastical- but the way characters look in games is hardly something to point out as unrealistic compared to other factors such as; geography, chronology, physics, biology and them being contained in a television. Male characters are rarely weedy, or fat. They are well defined and lean, and they are designed that way deliberately to be attractive, to men and the women. Games are fantasy. Perhaps the worst feminist argument is to assume that game characters are designed only to appease the eyes of heterosexual men.

She Blogs, Therefore She Is.

A food critic of our times... Martha Payne!

Martha Payne, nine years old, anarchist...

Martha, who wrote a hugely successful blog rating her school dinners was silenced by Argyll and Bute council for giving honest ratings of her school dinners. This girl must have been after more curly fries in place of kiwi fruit- right? Not at all! Martha was a hardcore veteran of healthy eating, destined to join the ranks of Jamie Oliver in their plight to give kids brain food and playing footie food. Surely a council would want the children in their schools to have access to better food? Does the kid's opinions of the food not matter?

Initially beginning her blog (titled NeverSeconds) in April as a writing project with her father, Martha used the anonymous title 'Veg' (Clever), with her real name and consequent banning of future food blogging only being released after a headline newspaper feature. A headline newspaper feature that occured because her blog became incredibly popular! After starting the blog in April, within a week Martha had 100,000 visitors and began encouraging readers to donate to the charity 'Mary's Meals'. Not only did Martha raise over £2,000 for Mary's Meals, pupils at her school also benefitted from being allowed unlimited fruit and veg with their school meals. After providing the council and everybody else access to free school dinners market and product research, Martha made one last post titled 'Goodbye' in which she explains the situation and her sadness at being unable to reach her target donation number for Mary's Meals.

Martha photographed her school meals and rated them.

In schools children are encouraged to think innovatively and develop their individual minds. That's what the brochure says, and indeed Martha's school were encouraging of her blogging, with teachers giving permission for her to take photographs of her school meals. The council have effectively stifled a bright young individual with a journalistic eye who wanted to expand her writing skills and make healthier options available to her and her peers.