Boo. Hoo.

I wonder what Eric Cantona would be like as Prime Minister. I don't think he'd go far wrong... like with his football career, he would quit whilst ahead, he wouldn't take any bullshit, he wouldn't tolerate racism and he wouldn't be a man, he would be Cantona. Oh, to only have a charismatic, transparent yet strong prime minister like Cantona. The party and their policies would be irrelevant alongside the joy of having some beacon to take the country blindly and ignorantly through the rough terrain of a global economic crisis.

Instead, we have Davick Cameclegg. Clegg recently posted a video on the Lib Dem's youtube site apologising, not for raising tuition fees, but for making the promise that he wouldn't. It is rather cleverly done, as he doesn't backdown on the actual decision to triple fees. His online apology is, I suppose, refreshing. I say it reluctantly though, because the main impressions it left me with were nausea at his puppy eyed vulnerability, and feeling slightly patronised. Then again, I do find everything patronising. Mary Ann Sieghart, writer for the Independent, reckons our Nick can still make a graceful exit after having 'shown that the Lib Dems can be taken seriously as a party of government, not just protest'. Has he really? I didn't think that. I thought all everybody had been doing since the election was criticising the party and Cleggy to shreds. One apology doesn't change the facts, although admittedly, he does state that in the video. Here is the video

Apologising for making promises that the party could not keep

I suppose all of the Lib Dem's broken promises are a demonstration of how unlikely they thought it was that they'd ever be in any position of power. I mean, come on... 'End tuition fees', 'No increase in VAT', 'Cap banker's bonuses'... the Lib Dem future promised was really only ever a dream. During the last election, to me- and most other students- the Lib Dems were certainly the most attractive prospect. They were fresh, charismatic, and bursting with shiny, albeit far-fetched, promises. One thing we can learn from the 2010 election, asides from how coalitions are fundamentally useless, is the sheer, undeniable power of PR. This lesson is something Labour seriously needs to learn before the next election. The Conservatives put effort into their PR, so much so that what their policies specifically were became irrelevant amongst all the moving publicity about having a 'fresh', 'new' government who will magically 'transform' the UK economy, pulling jobs our of their arses and sending immigrants a'packing. The Conservatives adopted fantastic PR methods, and it shone particularly brightly next to Labour's stuffy efforts, the face of which being Gordon Brown.

I just... I just want to think he's right for the job... but this is just awkward, I'm sorry

What Labour needs is a total overhaul of image because, unfortunately, that is what elections are all about. The only way most of the population is even going to vote is if they think it is interesting. In a world where the most reverred people have usually appeared on some form of reality TV, or worn some form of meat product on their derriere, politicians need to clock up some serious entertainment points if they dream of their party ever being elected. Ed Miliband is undoubtedly a nice guy but this doesn't mean he is right to drive Labour into government during the next election.
Watch these two funny posh lads say it better than I do: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zg4PORfEDQY

Expenses are... Expensive

You remember the 2008 expenses scandal? Of course you do, a jolly olde time! Access to who had spent what, on what was clouded and, when the mist did clear, we didn't like what we saw. MPs had claimed our shiny tax pennies for everything from costly rent to treating dry rot. It became apparent that, being an MP meant mo' money, mo' greed. In reality, every day of our lives sees an occasion where we get ripped off. Overpriced goods mean that corporate big tits enjoy a soy, double shot, vanilla machiato on us, daily. However, we know that corporations are in it for the money over our welfare, and we can make financial and purchase choices which benefit nice people if we want to. The government's business however, is our welfare, technically, so how atrocious that they rob us.

Hmm. Relatable.

I know what you're thinking 'yeah, yeah, that was years ago', and we all think it's solved now. I, at least, thought it was corrected. How can MPs have been exposed as so shameless and then be left to continue with the same policies of expenses? Well... they have. In reality, the only thing that's changed is we can now see how our taxes are being squandered.

Manchester City Council has revealed their 2011/2012 annual expenses total, which is a whopping £4.5million! It has cost Manchester MPs a grand total of £4.5million just to do their jobs, oh in addition to their salaries. Furthermore, MPs are allowed to employ family members/ partners, an opportunity which five of Greater Manchester's MPs have taken advantage of. Just because an MP's family member may be interested in tagging along, it does not mean that said family member is qualified to do the job. Perhaps they should advertise some vacancies via job centre plus, although perhaps the touch of a thoroughbred Eton lass/lad is needed to file MPs' paperwork.

In ONE YEAR, Greater Manchester MP Michael Meacher claimed £163,860.83 in expenses! If that's his 'extra' costs, what on earth is the man's salary. How can a person spend £163,860 in one year. He must be booking his trains last minute, and whilst on these trains he must be eating veal sprinkled caviar served on a bed of £50 notes. Yes, transport costs to a business trip halfway across the country should be reimbursed, but surely it is wrong for us to fund their elaborate eating and drinking habits when some of us (me) live off a diet of cereal and butter sandwiches.

She's on the right side of the law, but she's still claimed £147,973.91 between 2011 and 2012

It is safe to conclude that MPs are still robbing us blind, but now they tell us about it afterwards and rub salt in our shallow little pockets. For more information about what Manchester locals have spent, have a look at the MEN website.